shadow of the day

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yes, it’s a LP song. Yes, I know it’s about suicide. Why did  I choose such a song as my heeder?

Read on and may you will find out.

Well, my week had a rough start by me getting a phone call, telling me my therapist was ill.(Yes I’m in treatment) So my appointment got canceled.

I totally broke down then. I had a couple of breakdowns since then, and today when I forced myself to socialize since its Friday, and stopped myself when I was going home to study, I really felt at the verge of breakdown. I don’t know why I’m saying this in public, but yeah…I just get tiered sometimes you know, faking all the time.

“I’m only tired”

is excuses I recently used. And nobody asks me anything…and if they do I’m like “thanks I’m ok…only tiered.”

and they stop to try to talk to me about it, because they just don’t care? don’t know what to do? Are to occupied?

so, yeah I been down lately. To wear this mask all the time is tiring. I don’t get up off bed, I don’t even want to start on my homework. Couse the thought, the thought of everything that needs to get  done, makes me sick to my stomach.

I try to hang on, so please read my updates, as I try to come up with moor lifestyle tips.

-Ai

 

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